thescarfy

i have friends but only on tuesdays

jaclcfrost:

faygofuckyourself:

jaclcfrost:

if magic isn’t real then how do you explain

image

It hardens because the chocolate cools on the cold ice cream. Put a bottle in the fridge and wait. It’ll be a hunk of chocolate

no i’m pretty sure it’s magic it even says “magic” on the bottle and it’s got a snazzy turtle in a hat a magician would wear with a magic wand

(Source: jaclcfrost, via pizza)

live-as-a-teen:

dogepom:

patickstump:

if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic

"Who’s flat now?"

whos flat now

(Source: patickstump, via nowentering-mythoughts)

superblys:

Do you. bite your thumb. at us, sir? I do bite. my thumb, sir. DO YOU BITE YOUR THUMB AT US, SIR? Is the law of our side, if I say ay? No. NO, SIR, I DO NOT BITE MY THUMB AT YOU, SIR, BUT I BITE MY THUMB, SIR. DO YOU QUARREL, SIR?  QUARREL SIR!  NO, SIR.

thunderstoned:

chapmen:

a modern hero

THIS IS GREAT, THIS IS TOO FUCKING GREAT OH MY GOD

(via heliolisk)

waluiqi:

sexualbae:

waluiqi:

why are so many people offended by bagged milk

FUCK BAGGED MILK FUCK IT RIGHT IN THE SLIT THAT YOU HAVE TO CUT OPEN BC ITS A PIECE OF SHIT BAG WITHOUT A LID OR A CAP

image

(via waluiqi)

smokecigarettesamongstthestones:

My brother says “shit happens” in response to everything

My brother was given a “shit happens” mug because of this

My brother loved his “shit happens” mug like a child

Last week, my brother dropped his “shit happens” mug

You probably know what his reaction was

(Source: yffud, via zackisontumblr)

charizard:

i—still—do:

raubbenhood:

Disneyworld needs to make a rollercoaster based off of the ride Yzma and Kronk take to the lair. When the ride starts, Yzma’s voice yells “pull the lever, Kronk!” and the ride starts to move backwards so she yells “wrong lever!” and it shoots you forward.

image

(via elphabaoftheopera)

nychnymph:

booooost:

nychnymph:

when boys stretch and their shirt lifts up and u see the tummy AND THE HAPPY TRAIL AND BOXERS
[FAINTS]

we know its happening
it makes us feel cute

good
please feel cute

(via ayyeitsdani)